This One Practice Will Make Your Sex 62% Better!
Here's the million-dollar question: Why do lovers who share their bodies so rarely share their words about sex?
Talking about sex can greatly enhance your connection and pleasure. A 2019 study published in the Journal of Sex Research found that couples who communicated openly about sexual desires reported 62% higher sexual satisfaction compared to those who kept quiet (Mallory et al., 2019).
What's holding you back? Are you:
- Embarrassed about saying what you really want?
- Afraid of being judged for your desires?
- Unsure of the "right" vocabulary to use?
- Worried about hurting your partner's feelings?
If any of these sound familiar, congratulations—you're completely normal. A 2022 survey found that 78% of couples feel some degree of discomfort when discussing sexual preferences, even with long-term partners (Chen & Williams, 2022).
Want to improve your sexual communication? Here's how to break the ice and begin: start with a conversation about how you'll communicate about sex. You can take turns answering questions like:
- "How comfortable are you discussing what we like in bed?"
- "When are you comfortable talking about sex? Shall we talk before, during, and/or after having sex?
- "Are there certain topics that feel off-limits right now?"
This creates a safe container for future conversations. Research from the University of Minnesota showed that couples who established communication guidelines were five times more likely to maintain ongoing sexual dialogue (Peterson & Jameson, 2023).
Still feeling awkward? Try these low-pressure approaches:
- Share an article: "I read this interesting piece about..." (like this one!)
- Ask open-ended questions: "What was your favorite part of last night?"
- Use positive framing: "I love when you... and I'd enjoy even more if..."
Couples who develop the habit of talking about sex report benefits far beyond better physical encounters. A longitudinal study tracking couples over five years found that sexual communication was linked to:
- Higher relationship satisfaction overall
- Better conflict resolution in non-sexual areas
- Increased emotional intimacy
- Greater resilience during relationship challenges (Gottman et al., 2022)
Remember: Talking about sex isn't just about improving sex—it's about deepening your entire connection. Because when you can communicate about something this personal, everything else becomes easier too.
So take a deep breath and start that conversation. Your relationship (and your sex life) will thank you for it.
